


Did you fall to get your wings?

by Tea_and_Books



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Connor gets some wings, Connor’s POV, Guardian Angel AU, ITS NOT A PHASE MOM, M/M, Most of the time, TW: SelfHarm, TW: Suicide, Treebros, Weird update schedule, probably, sad songs were listened to while writing, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-23 12:26:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13787748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_and_Books/pseuds/Tea_and_Books
Summary: Connor Murphy thought he would be left alone in the peace and quiet of death. Oh boy was he wrong. Since Death didn’t account for him, now he has to guard over Evan Hansen. Perhaps if he can keep the boy alive long enough he can return to a peaceful life in the afterlife.





	1. Prologue

Connor Murphy sat silently in a small black room staring at a black wall. The room he was in contained no windows or doors and a chair that didn’t seem to break no matter how many times he had thrown it. When he looked upwards to look for a ceiling he was just treated to the sight of more black. Never ending black all around him with a little, brown, and what he assumed, wooden chair to sit on. Even with a room being black it was not dark. A light source seemed to fill the room but Connor could not see where or what it was coming from. He had already tried to find the light but simply couldn’t.

Yes, Connor Murphy was dead. The last thing the boy could remember was his last day. He had wanted to stay home, hoping that after his mother, father, he recoiled at the thought of Larry, and sister had left the house he could simply overdose, slit his wrists, and fall into a never ending sleep on his bed. But thanks to his mother he was forced to spend his last hours alive in a torturous hellhole that only fed into his hunger for death. He wouldn’t have minded the day as much if he had been left alone but that was simply too much to ask. Kleinman just had to make his morning pure and utter shit by just existing in his field of vision. Even worse, he had run off before Connor could do what he had always wanted to do, beat Jared to a pulp. You can put someone through trial if they are dead.

The rest of the day had been uneventful, a few snickers at him here and there but mostly quiet. That was until he got to the computer lab at the end of the day. He had debated upon writing a suicide note. Would anyone care? Who would even read it? What was he supposed to even say? 

‘Dear everyone  
I’m dead now. I had depression you didn’t treat so now you can’t talk to me anymore. Bye.  
Connor Murphy’ 

Connor cringed at the thought. Besides, if they really missed him they could hold onto something from his room, like a book or something. God knows he won’t be reading them anymore. After writing and deleting draft after draft of letters he finally decided against it. He got up, grabbed his bag and walked past the printer. That damn printer. The one that printed off a kids letter so that he could find it. So he could seem crazy. So he could know some creep wanted to date his sister. If Connor had known he would be so lucky as to find that letter and end his day off on the worst note possible, he probably would have never come to the computer lab. 

After storming out of the computer lab and folding the letter into his jeans pocket he made his way home. He made sure to check the time. The last thing he wanted was Zoe to get back from Jazz band and ruin his peaceful descent to the afterlife. If he had been thinking straight he would have remembered to think about his mother. She was home. He couldn’t die at home anymore. He had to get out. She would find out. He cursed to himself as he walked in through the door. 

After realizing his mother didn’t hear him ended he quietly made his way upstairs. Once upstairs and in his parents bathroom he started to rummage around for pills. He soon found what he was looking for, sleeping pills. He carefully put everything back and took the half full pill bottle with him as he quietly made his way down the stairs. He froze every time he heard the pills rattle, praying that his mother wouldn’t hear. When the coast was clear he would move again. After a long and tedious process he was outside and free. Free from his family. A small smile crept onto his face. His last smile. He started to walk towards a park. 

Once he approached the park he started to scan for places to sit and do his deed. It wasn’t long before he found a secluded patch of bushes and trees. He plunked himself down and pulled his hood over his head. He pulled out the pill bottle and swallowed all the ones he could. After feeling like he had swallowed enough he looked around and waited for them to kick in. He watched some birds fly by, or perch in the bushes and sing. He watched an ant crawl up his hand and then back down once it realized Connor was not made of anything sweet. Connor soon felt his eyelids become heavy. As they became heavier and heavier he let them fall closed. The last thing he remembered seeing was a bird tweet at him. 

Connor was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of a door opening. Where was the door? Connor didn’t know. He looked all around him and noticed a door behind him. That hadn't been there before and neither had the man that now stood in the doorway. The man was completely cloaked in a light gray. His hands rather thin and feminine. As Connor looked to his face he was met with a pitch black sheet that only contained a cheshire cat grin. It opened and Connor heard a voice, it was cold and dripping with death.

“You’re early, Connor Murphy. What as brought you here so early? Your family? School bullies?” A smirk followed the words as they flowed out of the man’s mouth. Connor rolled his eyes. The man was trying to make Connor feel weak and it wasn’t sitting well with Connor. 

“None of your business.” He snapped. Even in death Connor still had a short temper. 

“Now tell me why you have me sitting here. I rather not be held in a box for the whole of my after life.” Death chuckles and ‘looks’ at connor with a smile instead of a smirk. 

“Think of this more as a waiting room if you will. Since I wasn't expecting you to come here this early I still have to find a spot for you. So I want to give you a chance to go back to earth, not as a human of course. Rather, a guardian angel.” Death let out another chuckle as he saw Connor’s face contort in disgust. 

“And why would you think I would want to do that?”

“Because you don't have a choice. You are going to be a guardian angel. Not for someone you might think.” Connor raises an eyebrow as he tried to think about who he might have to watch over. His sister? Oh that would be fun, having to follow her everywhere and then console her when a friend yells at her. That would get boring fast. He was brought out of this thought by the cold voice of Death.

“Do you know Evan Hansen?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Connor finally cross paths once again. This one being as unique as the last times.

Connor at silently. Where has he heard that name before? It was familiar, but he couldn’t think of where he had heard it. He started to think back to his final day, back to school. If anywhere maybe he had heard a kid yell it in the hallway or something. Evan Hansen. Evan Hansen. Evan Hansen. Why was it so familiar? It couldn’t have just been someone yelling it in the hall. It had to be from something more important. That’s when he got it. The letter.

Back in the computer lab Connor had picked up a letter on the printer. On the top it read ‘Dear Evan Hansen’. That was also the same letter that his sister’s name was in. He would have to watch over some creep as he tried to date his sister. Connor recoiled at the idea and stood up. 

“I am NOT watching over some creep who has a weird thing for my sister!” His voice was laced with venom as he spoke. He would fight death himself. He was not going to watch some creep, who probably thought he was crazy, get close to his sister. Why should he care if this kid lives or dies or even breaths on this earth? At this point he was wishing that Death had said Zoe Murphy.

Death simply laughed before he spoke, waving Connor off as he opened the door behind him. 

“I already told you that you don’t have a choice if you look over him or not. If he dies, you come back. If he lives, you stay on earth for a little while and I’ll call you back when I have finished what I need to do. It’s simple.” Death spoke in a calm, monotone voice. It was odd considering this man had been happily taunting Connor earlier. 

The brunette clenched and unclenched his fists. If that was how it would be he would have to try and keep this kid away from Zoe. That shouldn’t be too hard. He assumed that this Evan kid would probably be able to see him. He would just float around, or fly around, Zoe and send him death glares and call him freak or something. With a plan set in his mind Connor felt a bit more at ease with his new job. 

Death opened the door, letting it make a creak as it opened. This guy really did love the haunting aesthetic of the afterlife. Connor took a few steps towards the door before looking to the cloaked man. 

“Where exactly does this take me? I don’t want to be dropped in the middle of a desert and have to find my across the globe to find this guy.” Connor looked into the light of the pathway before him. All he could see was light. 

“Where ever Evan is. If he happens to be at home, you’ll be in his room. If he is at school, you will be in his class, if he is outside, you’ll be somewhere around him.” Death answered. Connor gave a nod of understanding before stepping into the light and letting himself return back to the world he had wished to be removed from. This would be an adventure.

When Connor stepped fully through the door he found himself stepping into a room. It was small but not a child sized room. The walls were eggshell white with light blue drapes. The colours in the room were all on the calm and cool side of the colour wheel. The night stand that stood by the table had a small box, lamp, and what looked like essays on it. The bed was neatly made and a pair of shoe were placed next to the bed. For a creep, Hansen was rather organized.

Connor slowly walked over to the bed and glanced at the papers that were on the side table. After a brief bit of snooping through papers Connor concluded that they were for scholarships. As he was setting down the papers he heard the sound of footsteps coming towards the bedroom. He would finally be face to face with that creepy. 

As Evan reached his bedroom he noticed his door was ajar. Confusion plagued his mind as he looked at it. His mother wasn’t home and he had been downstairs looking for something to eat. Had he left it open by accident? Evan thought that was the more logical reason so he pushed the rest of the door open to enter the room. 

Fear ran across his face as he saw a man sitting on his bed. This wasn’t just anyone. This was Connor Murphy. Connor Murphy who had stolen his letter. But why was he here? It had been almost 3 days since he had taken it. Why did he come back now? 

Evan’s breathing started to quicken.

Had he told everyone about it? Did he spread a rumour telling everyone Evan was a creep that liked Zoe Murphy? What if he thought about it the way Jared did, as some weird sex thing?

Evan backed up a bit, his heart pounding in his ears. He felt around for a support. He leaned against the door frame as he watched Connor walk towards him. His vision started to blur as a few tears welt up in his eyes. 

As Connor stepped towards Evan he noticed the tears in he boy’s eyes. Evan was crying? Why was he crying? Connor hadn’t even touched him. Connor stood in front of Evan and watched him. He watched as the boy started to shake and how he started to slide down the frame of the door. Hansen was sure something. Something Connor wasn’t going to punch yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow look at that update gooooooooo! Anyway, if you have any ideas for this work shoot me ideas! 
> 
> Have a fantastic day

**Author's Note:**

> I have a weird update schedule. I’m aiming for weekly but we shall see.


End file.
